I think i sorta joined a cult last night
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
