he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
