god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
