i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
