They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
