awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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