I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
did i walk over a car last night?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
