dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
