No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This is my gift to your gina
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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