Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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