sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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