im drinking this country out of the recession.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
