i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
