made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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