Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Randomize
