Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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