I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
