she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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