You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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