I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
barbara walters just said penis...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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