You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
