every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
