i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
