id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
