okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
