The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
