shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
