Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
