I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
