Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
