i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
