so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
