If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
