the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
