dude i'm inner monologue high
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
