Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
