Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
