Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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