bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
