Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
