We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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