I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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