R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
