somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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