stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
