Just cropdusted the office
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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