I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
