At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
