I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
