you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
