Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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