I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
